Music that shapes relationships. How do sexist lyrics in modern rap songs affect young people?
By Simona Sakarova
“F*ck, we’re better off without you.”
Sometimes 16-year-old Victoria* hears this insult behind her back at school. The words are not random – they are part of the lyrics of the song “Makhlenska Chalga” by Bulgarian singer Marso.
“There were days when I just didn’t want to go to school,” Victoria tells sCOOL Media. She adds that there have been other times when boys at school have called her names that were clearly from songs.
“It was funny for them, but it was humiliating for me,” she says.
Music has always been an important part of teenagers’ lives. For many of them, it becomes a major source of role models and a way to express themselves.
But many of the lyrics of songs that are popular among teenagers right now contain overt sexist messages.
Women as “Pleasure Machines”
A brand new example is the song “Do You F*ck Me My Perfume” by Dimoff and Young BB Young, whose video has garnered over 1 million views on YouTube in just two months. It features the line “You’re just the unnecessary card in the deck.” In another song by Dimoff – “Мазна,” which has been viewed over 5.4 million times, he sings “I cum in her mouth and drool over it like ice cream.”
There are also a number of examples with rappers MBT and Marso. “ Махленска чалга” has over 5.6 million views, and part of its lyrics is: “A stupid bitch comes asking: “Can I sit with you?” “Of course not – we’re fine without you!”
In “Шанел”, listened to more than 2.6 million times, it sounds like: “I love life, to drown under me and to pull her hair. (…) I’ll buy you Chanel, but you know, I don’t love you”.
In “Купени и продадени” – also by Marso and MBT, the lyrics read: “I’m the one who unlocked the devil in her and taught her to be obedient”. This song has nearly 3 million views on YouTube. In “Kradena”, viewed 3.8 million times, it is sung: “I’ll wait for her, you pay for the silicone”, and in “Nema kvo da stane”, which has 3.4 million views – “We don’t return blood here, we turn them into cash machines”.
Even in Marso’s collaborations with singer Bilyanish – such as the song “Kesh”, viewed over 6.2 million times – lines like: “I’ll make you fall in love and obey me”. In other joint projects, such as “Ecstasy” by Marso, Bobkata and artist Kotenceto, the woman is described as “tied on a leash”. Several basic ideas are repeated in these songs. Women are presented as objects or “pleasure machines”, men as masters who control, and relationships – as a struggle for power, instead of as relationships of trust and respect.
How do such lyrics affect people?
When people listen to these songs over and over, they start to accept these things as normal. Psychologist Ani Vladimirova describes this effect with the metaphor of the “boiled frog,” which illustrates how people can accept gradual but destructive changes and situations until they become too tired to react—much like a frog that would slowly boil itself without realizing the danger while in the water.
Words like “f*ck,” “shit,” or “bitch” are a constant element in these songs. They not only demean and insult women, but also normalize the idea that it is acceptable to talk about them in such ways. When teenagers get used to this language, they start using it in their everyday lives. In this way, the music promotes toxic relationships and makes young people think that they are acceptable and even idealistic.
Alexander* is a teenager who likes to listen to MBT, Marso, Bilyanish, and Murda Boyz, mostly because of their energetic trap beats.
“The beat puts me in a good mood. The lyrics are sometimes rough, but I don’t take them seriously,” he tells sCOOL Media. He admits that he hasn’t thought much about how the songs sound to girls until now.
“It’s more of a joke for us, but I understand now that some of the words can be really offensive and hurt others,” he says, adding:
“Some boys, especially younger ones, can be influenced by the music and that can have an impact on their thinking and actions.”
Ultimately, Alexander admits that while music is fun for him, being aware of this influence makes him look at the lyrics more carefully:
“I think it’s important for artists to know how their words are perceived, because they can inspire or hurt.”
Many teenage girls feel exactly the same effect from such songs. Victoria says that because of the insults received from such texts, she avoided wearing shorter or more revealing clothes, because she expected another comment.
“I can’t believe that the words from music can make people around me behave so disgustingly,” she says. According to her, this problem is not new, but is related to pop-folk, which preaches the same ideals as modern rap music and influences relationships between girls and boys.
sCOOL Media sent questions to some of the performers of such rap songs to find out what they think about this effect of their music, but there was no answer from them.
According to psychologist Ani Vladimirova, “imitation of role models in adolescence is directly related to the construction of identity”. It is the images of “successful” and “liked” people that push young people to imitate in order to be accepted by their peers. Social networks enhance this effect by creating the illusion of closeness and accessibility.
The dominant male model is particularly prevalent – the image of a man as stronger and more powerful, the one who should command and have supremacy over others, explains Vladimirova. In this context, “appearance and sexual attractiveness become the most significant criteria for value, and the door to behavior that supports only them is open”.
The psychologist emphasizes that such influence breaks down the fragile identity of teenagers and creates doubts about their own value. In the long run, this leads to suspicion of the sincerity of the partner and to problematic relationships.
“We have enough examples of tolerance of violence in such a relationship. The process is two-sided in the aggressor and the victim. Moreover, the models are also carried over from the world of significant adults in the lives of children”, explains Ani Vladimirova.
Is there a solution?
The psychologist notes that music, films, etc. will always influence teenagers’ attempts to express themselves and search for themselves. Therefore, critical thinking and the development of healthy values must start at an early age. Otherwise, we will observe “unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships and subsequent mental problems”.
The long-term effects include dehumanization and lack of empathy in society. At the same time, this is a vicious circle – the fact that society already suffers from a lack of empathy contributes to the normalization of such songs. Ani Vladimirova emphasizes, however, that this type of music is not the only cause, but a secondary effect of the same dehumanization, the roots of which are complex and multi-layered.
There is no one ready-made solution, but there are directions. Critical thinking and empathy can be developed at school through lessons and conversations that help young people recognize hidden messages in music and social networks.
The role of parents is also important, who, with their example and willingness to speak openly, create a solid foundation for attitudes towards others. The most important thing remains the dialogue itself – when these topics are discussed together, it becomes easier to build one’s own position and not to accept ready-made models that humiliate or belittle people.
*Name has been changed for safety reasons.
Funded by the OPEN SPACE Foundation (OSF) project “Youth against disinformation”, implemented in partnership with the Association of European Journalists in Bulgaria (AEJ-Bulgaria), with the support of the British Council in Bulgaria. However, the views and opinions expressed are entirely those of their author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of OSF, AEJ and the British Council in Bulgaria. Neither OSF, AEJ nor the British Council in Bulgaria are responsible for them.
